A while back, I received a letter from a reader.
It was written by a young woman, only 27, who was recovering from a double lung transplant that came about as a result of a lifelong illness with cystic fibrosis. She described her gratefulness for the transplant and understood how it had saved her life but that it also gave rise to an endless stream of medical complications that kept her tied to the hospital and in chronic pain. Even the simplest tasks like doing a load of laundry or taking her dog to the park left her exhausted and defeated and filled with tears. She spoke honestly and clearly about what hurt and I imagined her young life and the incredible weight of the physical and emotional challenges she was carrying.
The second part of her letter was even more remarkable. She explained that she didn’t want to spend the rest of her days feeling stuck and depressed and described how she was giving herself a much needed kick in the pants to get going, stop feeling sorry for herself (her words) and start making some changes in her life, including her diet. I didn’t know her personally but I do know that most of us feel sorry for ourselves for far less and it struck me that to have this level of self-awareness and determination amidst the gravity and complexity of her situation was incredibly courageous.
She didn’t ask me for anything. She reached out merely to thank me for doing what I do and described her action plan to head to the grocery store in the morning to buy ingredients to try some new recipes. It amazed me that with everything she had going on that she found the time and precious energy to write. We had a back-and-forth about life, nutrition and her love of writing. She described some of the complexities of her illness on the dietary side, the biggest challenges that lay ahead and the goals she had set out to achieve them. I asked her if she would consider sharing her story on Inspired Edibles in case it might be helpful to others who were living with their own challenges. She was very keen and enthusiastic about it. I had never posted anything like it before on the blog and I wasn’t entirely sure how to introduce it at the time but the seed was planted.
As life rolled along and I continued to mull over how to incorporate personal stories like this, Annie was never far from my thoughts. This past Friday evening I started writing her a note to get an update and to see if she might still be keen to write and it was then that I came upon the sad news of her passing. I wish I could say that I had a poised response but I didn’t; it hit me hard and as I read the beautiful words written in her obituary, I imagined her family’s grief but also felt their joy and gratitude in having been surrounded by Annie’s kind, spirited and giving nature during her short life.
Although Annie’s story isn’t written here today in her own words, I wanted to honor her, however inadequately, with mine. Our stories are what unite us. They are what bring us together in our grief, our joy, our confusion and our fear. They offer us hope and love, companionship and support. They can also bring us some much needed perspective and act as a source of healing both for those sharing and those receiving.
So to dear Annie, I want you to know how profoundly you have touched my life and have given me every reason to open up my blog to personal stories such as your own. I don’t know what shape this might take over time or the full lessons we might learn from each other along the way, I only know that I needed to start.
Thank you for reading and sharing your reflections including those who reached out privately. I had many exchanges with friends, family and new-to-me readers that made me very grateful for this community. My aspirations for this year have little to do with how things appear on the outside and everything to do with fortifying the inside — especially as it relates to finding the courage to share stories like this that may support or act as a catalyst for growth in all of us — even (and here’s where the work comes in) when it’s hard and I’m feeling stuck in my own doubts and perceived inadequacies. Nothing grows without change so here’s to accepting ourselves, feeling our fears and doing it anyway ♥
Thank you for sharing this, Kelly. What a gift that Annie made that connection with you, and that you touched each other’s lives without ever even meeting. Your words are beautiful here. xo
You have written Annie’s story in such a moving and beautiful way, I think my words are useless here. Thank you for reminding us life is short…
What a lovely post Kelly! Thank you for sharing Annie’s story. It breaks my heart whenever I see or read about someone so young suffering so much. Her strength and story are inspiring, even though the ending to her story came about so quickly. :( What an amazing woman to have taken the time to share her story with you and to thank you for everything you do!
About 10 years ago I met a young woman in her 20’s in a doctor’s waiting room and she too was suffering from cystic fibrosis. Her new husband of 2 weeks was with her and you could just see how much love they had for each other. I never saw them again after that, but their story, like Annie’s was so inspiring. Life is short so live it to its fullest!
Thank you for sharing Annie’s story with us Kelly. My heart dropped when you found she had passed. Your new segment is much anticipated. xo
What a beautifully written post on human connections and the fragility of life. Thank you for sharing Annie’s story with us Kelly, I don’t imagine that it was easy to write but you communicate her remarkable circumstances and spirit well. I can see how a community of sharing could expand understanding, compassion and ease the heavy burdens we all too often carry. Peace upon Annie and love and gratitude to you.
Wow, what a beautiful and touching reminder at how special blogging can be. It’s amazing to find connections with so many amazing people. I’m so sorry to hear the news of her passing, but how wonderful that the two of you were able to connect, even for such a short time.
This story specifically touched my heart because my family knows far too well the struggles of living with Cystic Fibrosis. My first cousin is in her early twenties and we thank God every day that she is doing well. The life expectancy is still so low, and we all hold our breaths when she gets so ill that she is confined to the hospital. It is so scary to think what these amazing individuals deal with every day knowing that they are not given a fair chance of a long life, like most of us.
Sending you good thoughts and many hugs virtually as possible. Such a heartbreaking way to be reminded that we really do need to spend every day living life to the fullest.
Hope all is well with you and yours, Kelly! XOXOXO
What a beautiful testament to a very special and wonderful young lady. Healing love and hugs to you during this sad time.
Much love from sunny South Africa.
:-) Mandy xo
So beautifully said Kelly. Hugs to you and sending light and love to Annie <3
Such an unexpected ending to a young life, my condolences to you, dear Kelly. It is indeed interesting how strangers can have such a profound effect on us. Years ago, a young woman who worked across the office from me, took her own life. At the time, I was sadenend that it happened, and felt sorry for her family, but I really didn’t know her. It wasn’t until that evening, as the aerobics instructor began our class that I crumbled to the floor, sobbing. My own reaction surprised me. I just couldn’t get on with the class. It made me realize how truly connected we all are. I’m sending warm and caring thoughts your way. XOXO
What a powerful start to a new project focus on your site: your readers stories. I may just steal that one. I can feel your heartache on this. Yet, maybe you can name the series or project somehow after her? Immediately I am thinking of Karina and Brenda and Frances and – oh, so many of my readers that chime in regularly and edify me with little episodes of their own lives vividly described with the comments section as we connect through a recipe and shared memories. I can see this as an incredible opportunity to empower, enable and honour the relationship I have developed with so many of my readers by asking them to share a recipe and a story after I write an introduction to each. I will obviously be thinking about this and the sweet dear Annie’s that have touched each of us so deeply and remind us to not take a second for granted!
Here’s to thriving in2017!
V
you honored her well with your words. thank you for sharing this remarkable women and her story with us. I am in awe of her and missing her passing even though I didn’t know her. hug to you.
This hit me like a ton of bricks. I do not have the words right now. Here I am crying for someone I never met, for the pain you felt, the pain of her family, her pain, and all the troubles of the world seem like nothing by comparison.I cannot say anything else right now.
I send you a hug, a very very heartfelt hug
Xo 😘 Beautifully written. Thinking of you dear friend.